


The Fallen Ones

by eledhwenlin



Series: Not!Fic [1]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not!Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 01:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eledhwenlin/pseuds/eledhwenlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon is a sort of faily guardian angel, Spencer's a fallen angel full of mischief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fallen Ones

**Author's Note:**

> This notfic languished around on my HD for a long time. Not beta read for obvious reasons.

Brendon's an angel with white wings. He's friends with Dallon who's married to Breezy. Brendon loves playing the harp and cherishes it above all other activities. When he has to take over guiding a human, he's more concerned with getting home early than paying attention, so his wards often turn out to make bad decisions because Brendon wasn't there to put the correct thought into their minds. 

His boss is kind of angry with him. So when Brendon has to take over a new case, Greta, he's admonished to try really hard or he might not get to play the harp or any other instrument anymore. He has duties and he must fulfil them properly. 

Brendon's kind of sad, but he's determined to try very hard. 

In the beginning it works out fine--Greta's new in her city, a recent university graduate, but she finds a job and a nice apartment. And then she meets this guy. 

He's marked as a bad choice for Greta, for reasons only God knows. So Brendon's there to put lots of thoughts of propriety and decency into her, full of "good girls don't do that". 

It even works. They go on dates, but nothing happens. It makes Greta sad because she thinks the guy isn't really that into her and just sees her as a friend while Greta's falling pretty hard for him. It makes Brendon sad. 

They go on a date in a club (Greta thinks of it as a consolation prize) and at first everything's fine. They dance, but not too closely. Some of the guy's friends tease the guy about it. 

And then it suddenly changes. Greta's relaxing, although she hasn't drunk any alcohol. They start dancing and then they kiss and Greta's glowing. Brendon's trying to think pure thoughts at her, but he finds himself blocked from her mind, another ethereal presence already occupying the space. 

So Brendon goes looking for that presence. He's acting on orders from God, everyone obeys them, he just has to tell this demon or monster or maybe it's just a faerie having fun off for impeaching on Brendon's territory. 

And then Brendon finds the dark angel. He's surprisingly pretty for someone with dark wings. 

"You needn't try," he says, "she's having fun and I don't see any reason for her to stop."

Brendon takes a deep breath. "She's my responsibility," he says. "I'm to guide her and I have orders to not let her do ... that."

They are dancing, dancing and kissing, and the music is pulsing through Brendon's body and it's hard to think. 

The guy laughs. He leans in close to Brendon and whispers, "You can't stop me."

So this is the point where Brendon should message for help. They're not supposed to interact with fallen angels--they've fallen for a reason, and they're mean and . Brendon should ask his fellow angels for help, to drive this guy away, back to the dark corners he came from.

But Greta's actually having fun, and Brendon hasn't seen her laugh like this in weeks, and he can't make himself go barge in and bring her to reason.

"See?" The fallen angel's standing to close. Brendon can smell him, an earthly, musky smell that makes him feel weird. "Your boss will never know."

From then on the guy keeps appearing whenever Brendon's with Greta. Brendon half-heartedly tries to put some sense into Greta--she does call the guy and cancel their next date, because she gets cold feet, but then he sends her a card. 

Brendon's a softie inside, he likes kittens and puppies and he wrote the sweetest message inside. Brendon is unable to come up with any good reason for her not to go to the movies with him. 

At the cinema he spots the other angel. Brendon stalks over angrily. "You're not fucking this up," Brendon says. "They're not making out during the movie."

The angel laughs. "What else do you think they're gonna do?"

"Stop putting her up to this," Brendon says. "You're hurting her."

"I'm not putting her up to anything," the guy says. "I'm simply cancelling out your counterproductive influences."

Then he turns around and strolls behind the happy couple into the dark room. Brendon splutters and follows him.

Greta and Guy make out during the movie. They're watching a music movie (young kids! making music! in a camp! damn, Brendon wishes he were human), and Brendon's too distracted to put up a real effort. He even forgets about the other angle, until the guy pops up on the parking lot again. Greta's getting her third or fifth kiss good bye.

"You kind of suck at this," the guy says. "You're not even trying."

Brendon flushes. "I am. I'm just. That's none of your problems!"

The guy laughs and leans in closely. "Listen, if you wanna come over to the dark side, just say so." He flashes his big black wings. "I think you'd like it over here."

Brendon does the only thing he can think of: he runs home, guidance angel or not. As soon as he's switched over to Heaven, he feels foolish. His soul is safe as long as he doesn't pay any attention to the other angel. 

Brendon's dithering whether he should go back--that guy might still be there and Brendon would like to avoid him for a while. He really doesn't want to meet him again after Brendon's just basically tucked in his tail and ran. Brendon has some semblance of pride, thank you very much. 

He's still weighing the pro's and con's when he feels the familiar tingle that means his charge is about to make a bad decision. Brendon, well, he doesn't curse, they don't do that here, but he sends a quick prayer and hopes he'll be back in time. He thinks some very dark, not nice thoughts at the guy. 

Brendon reappears in an unknown to him apartment. Not only that, but he manages to be in the bedroom. Because that's where Greta is and she's--naked. And her guy is naked, too, and kneeling between her legs and--oh. 

At least Greta seems to be enjoying it a lot. Brendon stumbles backwards, blindly flings him through the door. He's so busy getting away--he's tried getting into Greta's mind, but there's no reasoning there, it's all _SO GOOD_ and _keeping doing that_ \--that he's not paying attention and he startles badly when he collides with something. 

To be fair, Brendon's not used to colliding with things, what with being an ethereal being and stuff. Brendon's more than happy to make things move out of his way while he comes barrelling through. There aren't that many things Brendon can actively interact with.

Brendon looks around wild-eyed and his breath catches when he realises he didn't hit something--he hit someone. 

The guy is standing there calm as you please, and he's grinning. "I think you're a bit late," he says. 

"You're going to hell," Brendon says stupidly.

The guy leans in. "I'm pretty sure that's where I live already."

Brendon's still flushed--he feels too hot, which is weird because he can't feel temperatures and it's. He feels kind of weird. He thinks he should get himself home. 

"My name's Spencer, by the way," the guy says. 

Brendon jerks again. "What?"

The guy--Spencer--wraps his arms around Brendon, holding him close. "You look like you've never seen anyone have sex," he says. "Or why are you so spooked?"

Brendon hasn't ever seen anyone have sex. It's indecent and--Brendon makes sure to go home before anything more than kissing happens. Also Brendon likes to make sure his charges don't hop into bed with everyone. 

Spencer looks positively delighted. "This is pure gold," he says. "What were your orders? Make her a nun or something?"

"We haven't been doing that since the 18th century anymore," Brendon replies archly. 

Spencer laughs. The sound sends shivers across Brendon's back. Brendon wonders whether he's falling sick--it's very rare, but not unheard of, and perhaps the presence of Spencer is doing something to him. Brendon thinks he should really go home now.

"Don't you want to watch?" Spencer whispers into Brendon's ear. "Listen, it's good. They're both good."

Greta's moaning loudly, begging and pleading for _more_ , and Brendon shivers again. 

Spencer laughs again, against Brendon's hair, the sound vibrating against his skin, and Brendon finds himself wanting to go forward, press himself against Spencer. 

"Little innocent guidance angel," Spencer says and then he's pulling Brendon backwards. "Let's give you an introduction to the real life."

Brendon wants to protest, but he follows Spencer, lets him pull Brendon into his lap and--that's new. 

Spencer laughs and Brendon notices his eyes, blue and large. "Yeah," Spencer says. 

Brendon settles on his lap and shivers again. "What are you doing to me?"

"Only what you let me do," Spencer replies. He's holding on to Brendon, but suddenly Brendon knows that he good disappear at any given time. But he doesn't want to.

Brendon's so very scared and he gasps in a breath. 

"Just trust me," Spencer says with that twinkle in his eye, and Brendon wants to reply that he can't be trusted, Brendon should leave, but then Spencer leans forward and he kisses Brendon and--it's good. Brendon's only ever traded shy innocent kisses with other angels, but this is different. This reminds him of the raw energy he feels pulsing from the bedroom, hot and blinding and like electricity. 

Brendon thinks he should put a stop to this, this is just what he's always been warned of, it's not right. Instead he pressed closer, lets Spencer take even more control and just--lets it be. 

Spencer holds Brendon tightly and then he leans sidewards, lets them slide down until they're lying on the couch, and flips them over. 

Brendon lets Spencer do all of that. He doesn't want to stop, he wants to feel this, experience it. 

Spencer presses Brendon down into the cushions, his weigh unfamiliar, but strangely comforting. 

Brendon stops to think. 

When Brendon stumbles back to his home, he's glad not to meet any other angels. He feels rubbed open, laid bare for everyone to see. He thinks it's been too much and not enough. Brendon falls into his bed and lets himself sink into an uneasy sleep.

By the time Brendon has to face other angels again, he's more composed. It's clearly been a mistake, but they're forgiven for mistakes. Brendon's made load of other mistakes, some that involved other angels, his charges, surely those were more grievous than ... this. 

No one notices anything. No one treats Brendon any differently, which is baffling, really, because Brendon feels differently. (He thinks that's what temptation is, this low burning in his body and the way he flushes when a pair of blue eyes remind him of another pair or broad shoulders or someone laughing in a particular way.)

It's good because Brendon's been told his entire life that one day temptation would come and he would be strong enough to pass. This is his chance to prove himself. 

Brendon stays strong and righteous and he passes through the sacred halls and no one stops him and his wings don't turn black and nothing at all happens. 

Brendon passed. This will never ever happen again, Brendon thinks and he tries to ignore the little niggling pain of disappointment. He's proud of himself and he should be. He's going to be pure and innocent again.

It lasts exactly until the next time he hurries to Greta's side. He's surprised to find that The Guy is her boyfriend now--wasn't he supposed to have been a bad choice? Why wasn't Brendon warned of that? Anyway, the guy's there now and they're not even doing anything. They're watching a movie. It's kind of sweet really.

Brendon's just pretty confused of why he's here. Greta does not seem to be in any danger right now. They're cuddling and watching a Meg Ryan movie. That's as innocuous as it gets, Brendon thinks. Greta doesn't look like she's about to jump up and do something crazy. 

Brendon stares. It's good, he thinks, that he's invisible because otherwise he'd be very rude. 

Brendon's still trying to figure what he's supposed to prevent from happening--he's searching Greta's mind, which is interesting as in so far that she's actually routing for the best friend to get together with the heroine and her reasoning is pretty good as far as Brendon can follow--when he feels someone stepping up to him. 

"Fancy seeing you here again," Spencer says, too close for comfort, but not close enough to explain Brendon's quickened breathing and the way he flushes.

"I'm--she's--I'm doing my job," Brendon replies.

"I'm glad," Spencer says.

"What?" Brendon makes the mistake of turning around and looking at Spencer. Those stupid eyes, he thinks. Nobody should have eyes like this, especially not fallen angels who're tempting Brendon into a life of sin and immorality. 

"I like it when your job means you have to stick around me," Spencer says. 

"You're the reason Greta's making bad decisions," Brendon points out. "You are making it my job to be around you."

Spencer smiles and Brendon realises a second too late what he's said. Spencer's putting his hand on Brendon's cheek. "Then I need to stick around Greta," he says. 

"You'll ruin her life," Brendon says and means something else. 

"Only if you let me," Spencer says. That, at least, is truer than the truth. 

Brendon lets him. Spencer smiles at him and touches him and Brendon smiles back and opens up and shudders and moans. He can't say no to that. He doesn't know how, doesn't want to even. 

"I don't know what you are," Brendon says afterwards. Greta's bad decision had been pretty much a carbon copy of what Spencer and Brendon just did, although right now Brendon's having a hard time remembering why letting her boyfriend have sex with her doggy-style is not good. Brendon's having a hard time remembering why having sex at all is not good. It's kind of amazing. 

Spencer laughs. "What are the options?"

"You're temptation," Brendon answers. Spencer's warm underneath him. It feels weird being this close to someone else, feeling their breath on his skin, feeling their skin under his fingers. Brendon's running his fingers over Spencer's arm, tracing the skin up and down. 

"What a honour," Spencer says.

"You're--tempting," Brendon says. "You make me do things."

"And?"

"But those things feel good," Brendon says. "If I were sinning, wouldn't I be feeling bad afterwards? I should be sad and angry at myself."

"But you're not," Spencer says, and Brendon doesn't have to look at him to see Spencer's smiling.

"I'm not," he agrees. 

"What are you?"

"Happy," Brendon says. Spencer kisses him softly.

When Brendon goes home, he's surprised to find Brent waiting for him. "What's going on?"

Brent seems tense, but he only replies with evasions. "You'll see," he says. "You'll see."

Brendon's led in front of the high court. He feels small in front of all those high-ranked angels--angels who have so much better to do than to deal with Brendon. 

"We have received word that you have been having relations with a fallen one," one says. 

Brendon startles and doesn't know what to say. He's long stopped seeing Spencer as a fallen one, not when Spencer's whole goal is to make Greta feel good. His ways may not always be the most prude and careful ones, but there's nothing bad about taking a little risk. Or a big one. 

Brendon wonders whether he's been too bold in his own endeavours. He doesn't want to blame Spencer for anything, though. He remembers his own avoidance of "temptation" and thinks that temptation has never felt truer than it did with Spencer. There's no answer that will keep both Brendon and Spencer pure, so Brendon keeps silent.

His non-answer seems to be enough, though.

"You do remember the rules," another angel says, and Brendon nods. Fallen ones are to be avoided at all costs, and encounters must be mentioned to one's superior. Brendon's failed to do both. 

"Your negligence has led to the downfall of one young woman," a third says and now Brendon finds his voice again.

"She's happy now," Brendon says. "She's happy with her family." Greta got pregnant and soon after the child was born, her guy proposed. They didn't want to marry because of the kid, they married for love. Brendon was at their wedding. Spencer, too. Confessional boxes are surprisingly spacious.

"She lives in disgrace, her child was born out of wedlock and they are open to divorce," a fourth says, disdain open in his voice. 

Brendon wants to rail against their values--is wedlock more important than a child with two loving parents? Instead he repeats, "She's happy now."

"For now," someone says.

Brendon's shaking slightly, full of pent-up emotion. Spencer lets him rant and vent and be melodramatic and too loud. He hasn't seen Spencer in a few weeks--Brendon doesn't know exactly what Spencer's up to, when he's not around, and he finds he doesn't have to know. Right now he misses him.

"You will have to be punished."

Brendon looks up. He can't quite remember the punishments for negligence--he's never been punished outright for any of his earlier trespasses, and he wonders what they'll do with him now. 

"For your crimes of careless negligence concerning your charges and also your failure to report your meetings with a fallen one, you will have to suffer. It is upon the kind of your meetings which punishment you'll be dealt."

Brendon's throat closes up. He remembers Spencer trailing his hands over Brendon's skin, his tongue in Brendon's mouth, their rutting and countless hours of bickering and bantering. Brendon should've tried to convince Spencer to atone, but in truth, Spencer's side has much more going for it. Less rules for one thing. 

"Answer," they say. "Describe your encounters."

Brendon doesn't want to answer. He's always believed they couldn't make him, but he finds out the hard way that they can. Brendon's always been able to listen in on his charges' minds, but he's never wondered why. Recently he realised that he can feel Spencer's presence in their minds, his presence in his surroundings, and he was overjoyed.

He hadn't thought that any angel might be able to raid Brendon's mind just as easily. 

Brendon feels ashamed as they pull memory after memory out of his mind, share it among themselves. The more Brendon fights, the worse he feels, until he gives him and let them have at it. He keeps his eyes down, but their disapproval is bad enough that it radiates through the air, turns to cold in his mind and leaves him shaking. 

He doesn't think he's been supposed to do that with Spencer. 

"We have decided on your punishment," they say. "You will be banished."

Banished, Brendon thinks numbly. Cast out of heaven. He feels their powers surging at him and he feels helpless. Spencer, he thinks. 

"You will have to leave immediately," they say. "From now on you are a fallen one."

It's the final words of the ritual, followed by a cold shower of holy water. Brendon gasps because it is cold--but shouldn't it burn? If Brendon weren't pure anymore, it should burn, feel like fire on his skin, eating him up until it's dried. It'll turn his feathers black. 

Brendon is hit by a surge, feels overwhelmed and then--he falls. He frantically tries to align himself with one dimension, any dimension, just stop falling, don't get too lost. He's relieved when he finds hold in a familiar dimension--the human one. Brendon's in some forest. It feels weird to be here, in nature, completely alone. 

Brendon clings to his hold and he only slowly becomes aware of his surroundings. He's in a city, people streaming past him, cars going by fast, and the never-ending din of just too many voices. 

He shivers and realises nobody's able to see him. He doesn't know why he thought that would change. 

Brendon takes a deep breath and then he thinks, Spencer. He has to find Spencer. 

Brendon's at a complete loss--they don't meet on purpose. They meet when they meet, but now Brendon needs Spencer, needs his solid chest and arms, needs him to just be there.

Brendon resolutely doesn't look at his wings when he unfolds them to fly upwards. Maybe he'll see something, someone, anything. 

From above the city looks nice, peaceful even. Brendon can still hear their noise, but it's muted, not as harsh and urgent as down there.

In the end, Spencer finds Brendon, as so often. Brendon's wandering around, lost. He can sense things, but they're not as clearly defined anymore. Where once was home, he can get a diffuse feeling, not sharp and ready, but vague and just-there. But he can feel Greta, her thoughts and emotions, and--Brendon thinks he shouldn't be able to. He was dismissed to protect her, why can he still sense her?

Brendon goes to her, and Spencer turns up almost immediately. He doesn't ask what happened, he just opens his arms, and Brendon throws himself at Spencer. 

"I missed you," is what Brendon says. 

"I love you," Spencer whispers. Brendon clings to him, thinks, yes, I know. I always did. I do, too.

"Come home with me," Spencer says, minutes, hours or days later. 

Brendon doesn't have anywhere else to be.

Spencer's home is close, just a blink away, and the dimension feels as familiar as Brendon's old home did. 

"We didn't move too far away," Spencer says. "We wanted to stick close to the humans."

What he doesn't say, but what Brendon hears is: we didn't want to move too far away from our old home. Brendon totally gets it.

Nobody blinks an eye at Brendon. He keeps his wings carefully hidden. He's not ready yet, he thinks. They had always been a bright silvery white. He wonders whether his feathers now match Spencer's. He hopes they do.

Spencer leads Brendon into a room that's bare, but still feels comfortable. It's full of Spencer's energy. "Let me take care of your wings," Spencer says quietly.

Brendon shakes his head. "I'm fine."

"You must hurt."

Brendon shakes his head again. "I--it didn't hurt."

Spencer frowns. He pulls Brendon in close. "Please," he says. "You don't have to be afraid. It--it might hurt you a lot to not treat your wounds."

Brendon startles. "But I'm really not hurt."

Spencer blinks. "Spread your wings," he says. "Please, I have to see ..."

Brendon shuts his eyes, squeezes them closed, and reluctantly spreads his wings. They feel light as ever.

Spencer's silent for long enough that Brendon opens his eyes. "What-?"

Spencer motions to him and then he reaches out and drags one feather into Brendon's line of sight. "See."

The feather is white. All his feathers are still white. His wings are still shimmery and silvery and white, so bright it almost burns in his eyes.

Brendon looks at Spencer. "I don't know understand."

"Neither do I," Spencer says, "But I think I know someone who does."

Which is how Brendon meets Pete. Pete's funny, Brendon thinks. He's not sure whether he wants to stick around Pete or put some distance between them, though. Pete's not quite right.

"Interesting," Pete says. He's been walking round Brendon for a few minutes now, stopping and staring for a few seconds, but he hasn't touched Brendon at all. It's a bit eerie.

"Very interesting."

Spencer huffs. "Do you also have an explanation?"

"Sure," Pete says. "He's not fallen."

"But I did," Brendon says quietly. His heart gives a pang. "They--they made me leave."

Pete shrugs. "Dude, can't explain it any other way." He points to himself. "I openly deferred the master. That one," he points to Spencer, "was too mischievous. We all committed a crime, one way or another."

"But it doesn't make sense," Brendon says. "If I'm not fallen, I should be able to go back. But I can't."

"Maybe you just don't want to," Pete says. "Anyway, see you later, gators."

Brendon looks at Spencer. Spencer gives him a small smile. "You can stay as long as you want."

Brendon thinks of everyone he left behind. Of Dallon and Breezy, happy with each other. Of his duties and charges. Then he gives Spencer a smile in return. "Then I'll stay forever."


End file.
